When words are not enough

When words are not enough, you start searching for alternative ways of expressing your inner contents. Then the hands want to touch with so much care and affection as almost not to disturb in the smallest way the perfect form of the other one; the lips want to press against the softness of the other one's lips in a timeless kiss, because the inside feelings, now liquefied, are like a never-ending river that wants to overflow into the other's heart; the arms want to hug so tight because the body is dissolving under the strong force of attraction and wants to mix with the other's one being giving birth to a new life form: the couple. The eyes want to be fed with the other one's angelic face, with his honest, friendly, out-of-this world smile and with his deep, wise eyes that speak of a side of the universe never-heard before. The heart wants to put herself into every behavior, gesture, thought and idea about the other one like the cook need to put his vital and secret spice in every dish that he creates and like the artist inevitably leaves a trail of his being in every artistic act, offering himself in return of giving birth to a new artwork.

Words are not enough anymore when love descends from heaven into one's heart. You realize then that the words are only some humble servants, with their limits and even if you would learn every language in the world, it still won't be enough... Because love is not only the mind's offspring, but also heart's precious treasure and body's intense craving. And although the mind tries to translate its thoughts, soon reaches its limits with a sudden shock and becomes muted. The rescue then can be found in the other centers of your being that are housing this ineffable feeling. And when all of them are incapacitated because of the evil time-space distance, then love is burning inside and pressure is accumulating in a dangerous level so that the beloved one must be warned of the chaotic, unleashed explosion that will undoubtedly occur at the next contact.

So be aware, lovers from around the universe! If you are so loved by someone, but her feeling is restrained and folded back inside, the torment inside her will flow with great energy like in a waterfall: from the peak of the mountain that tries to reach the sky until deep of the earth.

Love is...

Resisting the slowest and most agonizing minutes in the airport after a long period in which we haven’t seen each other.

The urge to hug you so tight and to dive into your arms so deep that we could mingle in one amorphous being with the texture of love.

Closing my eyes and feeling your soft lips so mindful that their touch instantly kindle my body and throw myself in a complete amnesia about time and space.

The feeling of adoration that fill my body when I contemplate the deep look of your dark, brown eyes with a divine halo caused by the kindness, sensitivity and intelligence of your heart.

The desire that arises in my whole being to do everything possible to bring a smile on your divine face and joy on your immensely kind heart, genuinely understanding the flavor of altruism. My heart feeding with your happiness.

The way you make me feel so feminine when you firmly grab me with desire by my hips and offer me a godlike kiss.

Changing sides like in a waltz while we walk so you can be on the street side and protect me from any possible danger.

You always being so polite and answering with a smile and with a sweet voice to the waiters and to everybody around you.

Your passion for languages and your struggle to learn new words so you can express yourself as freely as you can in my native language.

You surrendering to coffee as you would transcend this world and you would reach eternal tranquility.

You patiently waiting by my side while I prepare with love a rich breakfast, trying to offer you all that I have starting with the dawn of every new day.

You waking up in the middle of the night and then gently helping me cross the land of dreams toward reality with desire’s aid.

Feeling so complete when we finally fall asleep, with your hand placed below my pillow, after a full day of exploring the world together.

Being myself so naturally in your presence, even from the moment we met, and not having the need to recharge my energy in my loneliness.

The wave of creativity that you arouse in me every day which is so welcomed as the desert plants are welcoming a nutritious rain after a long period of drought.

Your philosophy of appreciating the immensity of little things that matches with my endeavor to assimilate as mindful as I can every aspect of this life.

Your artistic essence that manifest itself in your sensitivity, in your deep, beautiful, lyric writings, in your feelings, in the way you observe the world, in the way you see life, in your philosophy, in your attitude and which made me fall in love with you.

Your passion for computers that makes you to stay in touch with reality in a logical, scientific and skeptical manner, which satisfies my appreciation for science and which allows me to share with you my interest for astronomy and my view regarding the Universe.

Your incredible generosity that makes you sacrifice yourself to help your family or any other person that asks for your help and which makes me adore you so much and fill my heart of gratitude for your existence.

You, being loved by all the people, because your emotional intelligence makes you an incredible friendly person and makes you spread a warm light around you which pierces everybody’s heart.

The way your manly body makes me surrender to your desire, alters my reality and makes me transcend it in the paroxysm of pleasure.

Being the sunshine that pulled me out from a cloudy path and helped me to remember how it is to be alive just by your beautiful smile and by your habit of raising your hands in the air.

Time

I am sitting in my bed, with my head on my pillow and my left arm stretched over the empty side of the bed, stretched and trying to reach you. What separate me from you - “you”, the one in the past, the one that was by my side in our amazing, beautiful summer days; or from “you”, the one from the future, that will undoubtedly come back in my arms – is time.  

But what is “time”? What is this bodiless concept that cannot be caught into our hands, but around which our lives revolve? What is this evil character that makes me suffer so much when I am so full of you and I can’t flood you with my feelings, because it stays in my way? And what is this odd aspect of the universe, which I can make it dissolve and disappear when my eyes are captivated by your out-of-this-world presence?

And why it strengthen and materialize itself in such a heavy way, when I hear your mellifluous voice on the phone, or when I see your divine face in the photos, when I want to touch you, to feel you, to caress you, to hold you near my heart? And why it flies so quickly when I am engulfing the present with such a hunger while I am keeping your hand in mine, or when my head rests on your strong chest, or when my fingers are exploring with curiosity your soft skin, or when my lips are sipping your winged lips with the same exhilaration as you sip your coffee?   

It seems to me that time is just another border that confines our beings in one point in this universe. An invisible border that acts upon us like a ghost and makes us walk blindly in this game called life. And although in our difficult fight with time, we always seem the defeated ones, we must remember that its ghostly texture can penetrate us and can be influenced by our intense feelings. Our impatience, hastiness and eagerness make it tougher and harder to conquer. But our tranquillity and our joy to fully and mindfully live our present, our daily lives, gives us the power to bend this unbreakable force of the universe.

So I will promise you, my beloved, that I will confine my impatience and I will redirect it in more constructive and creative ways to express my boiling love for you. I will keep my love in my heart to accumulate steadily bit by bit, day by day. I will let it stir under this heavy pressure that time creates and when we will finally see each other I will let it manifests itself freely in such a way that will effuse and will embrace you in an amorphous cloud of love.

Time can be an unmoved force of nature, insensible to our urges, but if we are wise enough, we can harmonize with it and we can accept to be carried by its waves toward our so wanted, vital and beloved star, while we are watching the serene sky.  

The self and the Other

The moment we are forced out from our mother’s womb and our umbilical cord is cut, we are alone in this world, in this Universe. Everything that we see, hear, taste, smell, touch, everything that we think, imagine, fantasy, everything that we feel is inherently inside us. There is a definite and tangible barrier between us and the Other. Two enclosed, shiny entities, hosting sparkling universes inside them, but separated by enormous spaces, by vacuum. There are clearly defined outlines that draw the two creatures, the two so distinct earthlings.

So when they try to communicate with each other, one has to translate the thoughts in his mind and the emotions in his heart into words, the basic unit which has the consistency of reality. But the words can never actually encompass entirely the feelings that we have and the images that our thinking is creating. So the paths that two persons sketch between each other are blurred. They gaze into each other’s eyes having just a glimpse of the Other, never really guessing the wide landscape within. Therefore we walk through life being alone, trying to learn the laws of the universe, of life, of society, trying to fit, to create frail bridges toward the people around us, so we can have our dose of understanding and connection.

But there is a time, for very few, lucky people, when you encounter a bright, powerful star, that sends its rays right through your heart, melting all the barriers and making you so transparent that all the content from within becomes visible for the other one. And as you get closer and closer and as you can finally feel his warmth, you can see clearly, even though you are blinded by his brightness, his core. You are caught in the natural attraction that manifests upon you and you can guess that his core is made by the same substances as yours is, that it is guided by the same laws as you are, that he pulsates in the universe in a rhythm very, very similar as yours.

This uncommon star succeeds to fill the space and the vacuum between you and the Other, blurs the borders of your beings, so the Other doesn’t exist anymore, but becomes “ mine “. There is no more a clear distinction between your inside and your outside, his inside and his outside. You meet at the middle, in a divine space, that is called love and that makes possible for two human beings, after long time they have been chased away from their mother’s womb, not to be alone anymore. The reciprocal understanding between the two is felt like, instead of having two pairs of eyes, now there is only one pair: one eye from you, one from your beloved, but the image that is coming from the universe is consistent and full of meaning. The connection between the two is felt like magic, because the mind was caught by surprise by the idea that such a person can exist: a person with whom although the humble servants, the words, are doing their job incompletely, the message is fully understood…

And after meeting such a person, who manages to conquer the tremendous, immensurable space between your inside and the Other, the concepts of time and physical space look like jokes… This powerful encounter, that brushed away the barriers of the self, makes you accumulate so much energy and confidence that, although you are a tiny speck in a huge galaxy, you feel that everything is possible.  

And everything is possible, indeed. With you. By your side. 

Shadow from light

Wherever we go, whatever we do, we are followed by a loyal companion and a witness from the beginning of our time: our shadow. It is there with us in sunny days when we are busy with our lives, it is present when we drink with our friends, it listens to our sadness and our joys, our hopes and our fears, it runs when we run, it stays lost in meditation when we stay. Sometimes it fades away in dark nights when the light is too weak to outline it, but it never really goes away... Even if we forgot about it, even if we are not even conscious by its presence, it is there, the trail of our body, of our living in this world.

I can feel you in my mind like a shadow made, not of darkness, but of light. A shadow that shines brighter not when the light is stronger, but when the darkness is heavier. When the long distances look unconquerable your  shadow, loyal and silent, pulsates and covers everything with hope and confidence. I don’t forget about it like I do about its counter part, but I am very aware of it and I feel it very alive.  It follows me in my dreams, in my every day walks through this life, it is here, in my present, in my thoughts, in my heart.

You left your shadow from light here, with me, and it blends  with mine in a natural way. I can see them dancing like in a beautiful spectacle: a spectacle of love. No, I am not afraid of distances, because I am not alone...

Need of the heart

As the trees need the sky, not to survive, but so they can elevate higher and higher to reach the blissful light sun. As the time needs the clocks, even if it can exists without them, but it needs to be embodied  so it can be fully present in reality. As the Earth needs its Sun, not to live, for a planet can live wandering chaotic through the vastness of space, but for being alive and for harboring so many amazing creatures.

So I need you.

I need you not for alleviating my loneliness, because loneliness is an important and treasured part of my life. But for being near you means that I can rise higher and higher and discover a sky that is so serene and dreamlike, a sky that is your whole being. I need you not for the idea and the fantasy that you are in my mind, but for the true you, the flesh and body you, with all your darkness  and your brightness, with all your demons and your angels, with all your sadness and happiness. I need you not as a „need” and as a „necessity”, but as a desire of the heart to be alive and to feel enriched by your presence, by your existence, by the miracle that you are.  

Recognition

Two hearts fluttering when they recognize each other. Two minds like two universes that are going to collide because of their strong attraction and to form a sparkling big bang. Two hands reaching for each other in spite of the distances. Life imposes itself in the present and wakes up the deepest desires, the desire for connection, understanding and unity. The feelings kindle the heart, the brain, the body. They are all alive now and they refuse their limits, wanting to expand, to lose themselves in the other...

Come, my dear... Come and let's embrace the miracle of our own existence and let's seal it in a never ending hug...