The self and the Other

The moment we are forced out from our mother’s womb and our umbilical cord is cut, we are alone in this world, in this Universe. Everything that we see, hear, taste, smell, touch, everything that we think, imagine, fantasy, everything that we feel is inherently inside us. There is a definite and tangible barrier between us and the Other. Two enclosed, shiny entities, hosting sparkling universes inside them, but separated by enormous spaces, by vacuum. There are clearly defined outlines that draw the two creatures, the two so distinct earthlings.

So when they try to communicate with each other, one has to translate the thoughts in his mind and the emotions in his heart into words, the basic unit which has the consistency of reality. But the words can never actually encompass entirely the feelings that we have and the images that our thinking is creating. So the paths that two persons sketch between each other are blurred. They gaze into each other’s eyes having just a glimpse of the Other, never really guessing the wide landscape within. Therefore we walk through life being alone, trying to learn the laws of the universe, of life, of society, trying to fit, to create frail bridges toward the people around us, so we can have our dose of understanding and connection.

But there is a time, for very few, lucky people, when you encounter a bright, powerful star, that sends its rays right through your heart, melting all the barriers and making you so transparent that all the content from within becomes visible for the other one. And as you get closer and closer and as you can finally feel his warmth, you can see clearly, even though you are blinded by his brightness, his core. You are caught in the natural attraction that manifests upon you and you can guess that his core is made by the same substances as yours is, that it is guided by the same laws as you are, that he pulsates in the universe in a rhythm very, very similar as yours.

This uncommon star succeeds to fill the space and the vacuum between you and the Other, blurs the borders of your beings, so the Other doesn’t exist anymore, but becomes “ mine “. There is no more a clear distinction between your inside and your outside, his inside and his outside. You meet at the middle, in a divine space, that is called love and that makes possible for two human beings, after long time they have been chased away from their mother’s womb, not to be alone anymore. The reciprocal understanding between the two is felt like, instead of having two pairs of eyes, now there is only one pair: one eye from you, one from your beloved, but the image that is coming from the universe is consistent and full of meaning. The connection between the two is felt like magic, because the mind was caught by surprise by the idea that such a person can exist: a person with whom although the humble servants, the words, are doing their job incompletely, the message is fully understood…

And after meeting such a person, who manages to conquer the tremendous, immensurable space between your inside and the Other, the concepts of time and physical space look like jokes… This powerful encounter, that brushed away the barriers of the self, makes you accumulate so much energy and confidence that, although you are a tiny speck in a huge galaxy, you feel that everything is possible.  

And everything is possible, indeed. With you. By your side.