Time

I am sitting in my bed, with my head on my pillow and my left arm stretched over the empty side of the bed, stretched and trying to reach you. What separate me from you - “you”, the one in the past, the one that was by my side in our amazing, beautiful summer days; or from “you”, the one from the future, that will undoubtedly come back in my arms – is time.  

But what is “time”? What is this bodiless concept that cannot be caught into our hands, but around which our lives revolve? What is this evil character that makes me suffer so much when I am so full of you and I can’t flood you with my feelings, because it stays in my way? And what is this odd aspect of the universe, which I can make it dissolve and disappear when my eyes are captivated by your out-of-this-world presence?

And why it strengthen and materialize itself in such a heavy way, when I hear your mellifluous voice on the phone, or when I see your divine face in the photos, when I want to touch you, to feel you, to caress you, to hold you near my heart? And why it flies so quickly when I am engulfing the present with such a hunger while I am keeping your hand in mine, or when my head rests on your strong chest, or when my fingers are exploring with curiosity your soft skin, or when my lips are sipping your winged lips with the same exhilaration as you sip your coffee?   

It seems to me that time is just another border that confines our beings in one point in this universe. An invisible border that acts upon us like a ghost and makes us walk blindly in this game called life. And although in our difficult fight with time, we always seem the defeated ones, we must remember that its ghostly texture can penetrate us and can be influenced by our intense feelings. Our impatience, hastiness and eagerness make it tougher and harder to conquer. But our tranquillity and our joy to fully and mindfully live our present, our daily lives, gives us the power to bend this unbreakable force of the universe.

So I will promise you, my beloved, that I will confine my impatience and I will redirect it in more constructive and creative ways to express my boiling love for you. I will keep my love in my heart to accumulate steadily bit by bit, day by day. I will let it stir under this heavy pressure that time creates and when we will finally see each other I will let it manifests itself freely in such a way that will effuse and will embrace you in an amorphous cloud of love.

Time can be an unmoved force of nature, insensible to our urges, but if we are wise enough, we can harmonize with it and we can accept to be carried by its waves toward our so wanted, vital and beloved star, while we are watching the serene sky.