Inspiration is but the flicker of sensitivity. When something sensitizes you in such way that takes away all the layers of routine, all the layers of the little tasks and worries that keep your mind occupied, and lets you with the bare skeleton of yourself; yourself and the feeling that you can discover some important meaning of life if you just focus the light of concentration toward yourself.
This
diffuse juice of introspection is very precarious, and it feels like it would
evaporate if you start doing any mundane thing. So you try to protect it, to
contain it in your chest, to offer it its nutrients to make it bloom. And one
of its nutrients is silence. The type of silence that occurs when you are alone
and you start listening to your thoughts. And the type of thoughts that are not
worries, that are not anxiety born, that are not planning, but the thoughts that
question your life choices; the thoughts that take away the superficial
motivation behind your actions and search for a deeper one; the thoughts that ask
about your longings; the thoughts that try to find to discover or, when
failing, to create the meaning of life, of other people’s life.
And it is
very rare. And the things that trigger it are sometimes unexpected. A painting,
a song, a movie, an animation, an article, a book, a person, a dialog, a
natural scenery that you observe, the interaction between two people, the
behaviour of some animals, a face. As they are more unexpected, as more the
cord that is struck inside you reverberates. They can be more unexpected, when
you have no expectations. Because having no expectations leaves you in a state
ready-to-embrace. Imagine slowing down the time before embracing someone. You
open your hands and you make yourself ready to embrace the person, to bring it
closer to you, so close until real contact. You don’t think about these moments
right before embracing, but sometimes exactly because of that, you are
surprised by the unexpected explosion of warmth that is brought by the hug, the
same as you are surprised when, because of the same state, an idea blooms
inside you in an explosion of sensitivity.
Don’t let
this being in touch with yourself be wiped away by frivolous things like
checking your phone, like turning on the TV, like engaging yourself in a
conversation with somebody else. Instead allow it to grow inside you. Allow it
to interrogate you. And let it flow through what makes you express yourself:
writing, singing, drawing. Whatever it is, nourish it, because it’s the few
authentic moments that you have in life. It’s your curiosity, it’s your
existential dread, it’s your hopefulness, it’s the universe becoming aware of
itself through you. It’s the universe creating itself through you.
